Three Shopaholic Words: Card, Credit, and Shop

A Human Buying Machine

Put a credit card in a shopaholic’s hand, add a little misplaced emotion, throw in the aid of a few close friends, and you will have created a human buying machine. When shopaholics tell their stories, three words are peppered throughout their dialogues – card, credit, and shop.

Shopaholics can be rich or poor, CEOs or cashiers, come from deprived families or raised in indulgent families. Often emotions trigger a shopping binge and these can cover many realms of the mental landscape. This list is nowhere near complete:

• Angst
• Boredom
• Depression
• Elation
• Feelings of inadequacy

Retail Therapy

Any of these emotions or – heaven forbid – a combination of them, can cause a person to seek out “retail therapy.” Merchants have long known that it’s not just the product that soothes the savage beast, it’s the whole experience. The experience may come from the attention offered by a clerk, the fondling or trying on of a product, the swipe of the card, the pleasant presence of enabling friends or family members, the aroma of new purchases, and all the other little things that make up the ultimate shopping experience.

Associating With Shopaholics

The thing about “retail therapy” is its inability to really help overcome those feelings. Just as alcoholics wake up with headaches and tremors, shopaholics end up with feelings of remorse and guilt. Believe it or not, some shopaholics can’t recall large parts of their shopping experience. They “black out” just as alcoholics do.

Though it has not yet been signified as an aim of corrective therapy, shopaholism has fomented the organisation of at least three groups:

• Shopaholics Anonymous
• Debtors Anonymous
• Stopping Overshopping

To find if any of these groups have formed in your area, do some web research. Do use the keyword “shopaholic” in your searches as it is used in just about every group’s material. The word is fast losing status as a humorous, made-up word and is becoming a term that is used in many therapy circles.

Understanding and Dealing with the Syndrome

These three groups put forth basically the same approach to dealing with the syndrome. These are steps to be taken after you have done the most important thing – recognising that there is a problem, that is affecting you and those around you, and that some assistance is needed

• Leave the Credit Cards at Home

If you can’t bear to tear up your credit cards, leave them at home or entrust them to a friend or family member. (In the movie, Confessions of a Shopaholic, the heroine puts her cards in a water container and freezes them to help her think twice before using them. She finally finds an icepick.)

• Use the 24-hour Rule

If you see something you really like or can’t live without, make yourself wait 24 hours before you purchase. Even – no, ESPECIALLY – if it’s on sale. You’ll probably find that you really have no zeal to own the item.

• Formulate a Budget

Start by keeping track of what you spend daily for a week or so. Then add up all your must-pay bills, followed by bills not so demanding. This will give you enough data to start a budget. Include the daily cash allowance mentioned above. Expect to alter it from time to time; that’s not failure, it’s being realistic.

• Enlist the Help of Friends and Family

Friends and family are mentioned above as enablers, that is, people who make it easy for you to indulge your tendency to over-shop. Tell them about your problem and ask them to help you overcome this damaging syndrome. They have probably already noticed you have a problem and should be very willing to help.

• Channel Your Energy

Use the energy that is driving your shopping desires to start a hobby, visit a friend, weed the garden, go for a walk, or any other productive or interesting thing that comes to mind.

• Get to the Root of the Problem

Recognising the emotional triggers that are driving your shopaholism is very important. Once you have those boiled down to the basics, you’ll be better able to handle your affliction. If you think your problem is serious enough, you might want to engage a therapist.

• Join a Support Group

If you don’t have money for a therapist, or if you feel uncomfortable in that venue, latch onto one of the groups mentioned above. You can find real help there as well

Just a Little Bit Won’t Hurt

Handing a flask to an alcoholic is the same as giving a credit card to a shopaholic. Even a little bit can hurt. Keep one card for security and emergencies, but never use it except for those reasons. The therapy literature is heavy with those who have overcome their affliction. So you can do it, too.

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